Ambrosine Read online

  That was weird. Either I had too much sun today or the nightmares I’ve been having are starting to invade my daydreams.

  I became aware of Mother’s voice calling me. It took me from my thoughts. I looked toward the house and she was waving.

  As I walked up the porch stairs, she smiled and asked, “So, how was your outing?”

  “It was fine.” I said, still thinking of what happened.

  “Your face doesn’t show that.”

  “Oh… I just had this weird thing happen to me as I was walking up the path.” Her eyes narrowed as she asked nervously, “What happened?”

  I could see her panic. “Mother, it’s all right. It’s nothing to get excited about. I just had a strange feeling, that’s all.”

  I sat down on the porch swing. She got up from her chair and came over. “So, what kind of sensation was it?”

  Her voice sounded urgent. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.” I took in a deep breath. “Let’s just say that lately, I’ve been having these stupid dreams about dark, shadowy figures, and then, as I was walking toward the house just now, the dreams seemed to take over as if they were real and trying to encircle me. Crazy, huh?” I laughed without humor. “I think I had too much sun today.”

  Mother seemed disturbed and stood up. She began pacing back and forth, muttering to herself as though she was in some kind of trance.

  “Mother, are you okay?” Her expression softened. “I’m fine.” She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. “So, you’ve been having bad dreams? How long have you been having these dreams?”

  “Only for about a week or so, that’s all. It’s okay, they’re just stupid dreams. They don’t mean anything. Why are you acting so nervous?”

  “Sorry, I guess I was thinking back to when you were younger. You had bad dreams that awoke you most nights. You were even afraid to leave our side, and sometimes, when you played outside, you would come running inside to tell us that something was chasing you.”

  “Whoa, I don’t remember ever having dreams that scared me that bad. I must have been really young.”

  “Yes, you were very young.” She looked out toward the gardens and then turned back to me.

  “But you know what? You are right. They’re just dreams, and perhaps you did have too much sun today like you said.” She came over and sat by me on the swing.

  “So, did you have fun with the girls?”

  There she goes again.

  Mother always changed the subject when she didn’t want to continue answering questions. But, I didn’t care this time. It wasn’t worth a debate. They were just silly dreams. Even the sensation I felt coming home was probably my imagination. So I just answered, wanting to change the subject, too.

  “Yes, I did and I met someone today.

  ”You did? Who?”

  “Marcus Blondeau, from Lafayette. He came with Davis.”

  “Hmm…I think I know his family. Doesn’t he have a brother, too?”

  ”Yes, Robert is his name. He was there today, also.” I quickly answered then went on telling her about my incredible day, about meeting Marcus.

  She smiled, knowingly. “Alixia, I think you’re a little smitten with this boy for only just meeting him.”

  I blushed. “Is it that obvious?”

  She laughed. “Yes, but it’s okay. I’ve been there, too.” She stood up. “Come on now, let’s go inside for dinner.”

  While the staff served dinner, I coaxed Mother and asked her, “Was Father your first love?”

  She seemed uncomfortable, fumbling with her silverware. I could see the sadness in her face. “No, your father wasn’t my first love. There was someone else before him; his name was Charles Gautier. In fact, he was the man I was going to marry, until I met your father.”

  “What?” I dropped my fork. “You were going to marry another man?”

  “Yes. Calm yourself,” she laughed, “it’s not like I married him. I was engaged to be married. But, when I met your father, he completely swept me off my feet. I knew immediately he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with.”

  “So, you must have fallen in love with Father at first sight then, right?”

  “Yes, I guess I did.” She was quiet momentarily. Then, with a wave of her hand, she changed the subject. “Finish your dinner now. We have a French lesson to get to.”

  As much as I was an eager student, it was still a challenge for me to learn a second language. Mother handed me my book, and I asked,

  “Why wasn’t I taught French when I was younger?”

  “Just a minute.” She opened her book, looking down at the pages trying to find where she left off during our last lesson, and then answered,

  “Because your father insisted we speak English, and I agreed with him at the time. However, after our recent visits to New Orleans, I could see it was time for me to start preparing you.”

  “Preparing me? For what?”

  She hesitated, and then stumbled on her words, as if she misspoke. “Well…uh…we may be going to France.”

  I was dumbfounded.

  Where did this come from?

  I jumped out of my chair with excitement and dropped my book to the floor.

  “I’m going to France?! When?”

  She retrieved the book and handed it back to me.

  “In late summer of next year, hopefully.”

  I was ecstatic, knowing this time next year I would be in France. “So, are we going to Paris? I can’t wait to go shopping and to the art museums!” I was caught up in my own imagination about the trip, rattling on about this and that, until I saw her eyes darken, and her demeanor change.

  “Alixia!” She said sharply, “We’re not going there for vacation or to shop!”

  “What? But you just said—”

  “I know what I said. I just want you to know we’re not going there just for leisure.”

  “Then why are we going? You’re not making any sense.” I was confused. She fidgeted in her chair, her eyes trying to avoid me. “I shouldn’t have brought it up until I’m more certain about the trip.”

  “So we’re not going to France?”

  She picked up her book, opening it like she was going to avoid my question. I snapped,

  “Are we going or not?”

  She lowered her eyes for a second, then, looked straight at me.

  “Please, just trust me for now. I promise we’ll talk more about this when the time gets closer to our trip.”

  “But are we going?”

  “Yes, we are going, although there are some details that have to be worked out first.” She reached over and touched my hand. “So, please be a little patient, and I am sorry I upset you.”

  I was still confused with this entire conversation and why Mother was acting so vague and guarded with her answers. I wasn’t sure what to say to her, so I said, “Okay. I guess.”

  “All right, back to our lesson.”

  The Party

  Several days later, the subject of my birthday came up again. Mother was relentless about giving me a party. I finally agreed to a small one, but I knew she had already planned everything and had sent out some of the invitations, one of which went to Madame Ambrosine. They had been writing and calling each other on a regular basis, and the few times we traveled to New Orleans, we stayed with her. They seemed to be inseparable when they got together. As Mother was putting the finishing touches on the birthday plans, I called Libby.

  “Are you going to invite Marcus and Robert?” Libby asked.

  Flustered, I couldn’t answer her at first.

  I just met him.

  “Did you hear me, Alixia?”

  “Of course. Listen, do you think Davis could ask them for me? Marcus hasn’t called me yet and I don’t know if I should call him…”

  “Sure,” Libby said without any hesitation, “I understand.”

  “Thank you.” I said, feeling a sense of relief.

  The rest of our conversation amounted to
what we were going to wear and hoping the boys would come. Libby told me she was going to see Claire later and would tell her about the party. We said our goodbyes, and as I hung up the phone, I thought about Marcus again. Hmm… if Marcus comes, this party might not be too bad after all.

  I awoke early the day of my birthday and lay there thinking.

  Why am I still having these stupid dreams of these dark shadows? It’s annoying.

  I wondered if I would ever get a good night’s sleep again.

  Sighing, I dragged myself out of bed, got dressed and went downstairs to the dining room. Mother was already at the table eating when I walked in. She greeted me in French,

  “Joyeux anniversaire.”

  “Merci beaucoup.” I replied. Then, as I kissed her good morning and sat down, the kitchen door burst open and the staff came through singing, “Happy Birthday.” They placed a small pastry with one lit candle in front of me.

  Fantastic! My first wish of the day!

  The restless night was suddenly forgotten as I drew in a breath and blew, wishing silently.

  Everyone hugged me and wished me well. My birthday had officially started. Mother went back to her morning newspaper as I ate my pastry.

  “Could I borrow your pearl earrings today?” I asked.

  "Sure, I think they’re on my bureau in the jewelry box.” she answered, barely looking up.

  I noticed how beautiful she looked today. Her dark-green dress brought out her olive complexion and green eyes. Her auburn hair cascaded down past her shoulders, neatly held back on each side by emerald hair combs. Feeling my gaze, she looked up from the paper as I was finishing my last bite of food and reaching for my juice.

  “Alixia, while you’re looking for those earrings, you will find one of your birthday presents in my room.”

  “An early present! What did you get me?”

  She had a slight smile on her lips.

  ”Go up and see.”

  “Please?!” I couldn’t contain my excitement.

  “Oh, all right. It’s that dress you wanted from Adrianna Boutique.”

  “Are you kidding?” I exclaimed. “You’re the greatest mother ever! Thank you, thank you!” I went over and hugged and kissed her and rushed out of the room.

  I bounded up the stairs to Mother’s room. The dress was hanging on the door. It was a shift-style dress, teal in color with a satin belt. I hurriedly put it on and walked over to the mirror.

  A perfect fit! Now Mother’s pearl earrings will complete the outfit.

  Finding the earrings on the bureau, I decided to look for stockings, too. While going through her drawers, I came across the black journal with red lettering Mother had put in her purse the day we left New Orleans. “Ambrosine” was written on it. I opened the journal. It was written completely in French, but I could make out a few words such as “love, daughter and my name, Alixia,” but nothing else made sense. It was like reading a ritual or a vow. Overcome with curiosity, I took the book downstairs to find Mother.

  One of the staff directed me to the garden. I called out for her.

  “I’m over here, Alixia, by the roses.” I hurried over the brick path to where I found her cutting a few flowers for the party.

  “Alixia, you are exquisite! The dress fits you perfectly, but where are your shoes?” she asked, somewhat amused. I glanced quickly at my feet and wiggled my toes, “Oh, I guess I hadn’t even noticed I wasn’t wearing any. But here.”

  I handed her the journal and she looked at me curiously, not really surprised.

  “I see you found the journal.”

  “Yes, it’s all in French. Does this have something to do with Madame Ambrosine?”

  She frowned. “Yes and no. It’s difficult right now for me to explain what the journal means. All I can tell you is that it’s a journal I have been writing in a while, and I promise we will go through its contents together, but now is not the right time.”

  She put the book in the basket of flowers.

  Again, she was avoiding my questions.

  She gave me a gentle push. “Alixia, please go finish getting ready, the guests will be arriving soon.”

  Reluctantly, I turned back to the house. I decided that I would talk to Madame Ambrosine about the journal since the title bore her name. Mother had been so secretive lately and I wondered what she was hiding. Maybe Madame Ambrosine would be more forthcoming than Mother.

  By the time I finished getting dressed, all the guests had arrived and gathered in the main foyer. I came downstairs and walked through, greeting everyone as they wished me well on my birthday.

  Looking around, I could tell the party had turned into a big social event. Even though I requested it to be small, Mother always thought big. There was a band for dancing and plenty of food for the guests to enjoy.

  The birthday cake was in the main dining room, and as always, was exquisite. It was three-tiered with white, velvet frosting, lavished with lavender irises all around it and one candle for a wish. As I walked back toward the foyer, Libby suddenly grabbed me urgently.

  “Marcus brought a girl to the party!”

  I could see them over Libby’s shoulder. Concerned, she asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

  I nodded yes, but I actually felt hurt and embarrassed as I went over to them.

  Marcus, his older brother Robert and the mystery girl were standing there smiling, waiting to wish me a happy birthday.

  Marcus introduced his friend as Sarah. She was a petite girl with a nice smile and a sprinkle of freckles across the bridge of her nose.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Sarah. Why don’t you all go in and join the party.”

  I noticed Marcus looked at her adoringly as they walked away from us. Libby took me to the side to explain. She said that Marcus had known this girl since childhood, but she had moved away and now that she has returned, they are inseparable. As I listened to Libby, my thoughts took over.

  How stupid, to believe in love at first sight. It’s was only a fantasy that I created in my mind. Never again!

  I hugged Libby for being a good friend, and we went to join the party.

  Mother and Madame Ambrosine were sitting on the back porch visiting with guests. Mother reached out for me and said,

  “There you are, Alixia. Did you see your cake?”

  “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

  I heard a noise behind me. It was Davis. He appeared out of nowhere taking Libby into his arms and said, “Come on, my Sweet, let’s go dance.”

  Libby looked at me and said,

  “Alixia, are you coming?”

  “No, go. I want to talk to Mother for a minute.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want us to wait for you?”

  “No, go ahead. I will be right behind you.” They left holding on to each other. I sighed deeply, wishing it were Marcus and me.

  I sat by Mother on the porch swing feeling dejected. “What’s the matter, Alixia?”

  “That boy, Marcus, he came to the party with another girl. I just want to go somewhere and disappear for the day.”

  She stroked my hair. “It is will be all right.”

  “No, it won’t.”

  “Alixia, love is confusing, but not fatal. You will have your chance again.”

  “I won’t be as foolish the next time. I mean, thinking I could find true love the first time, like you did with Father. I just wished... never mind.” I couldn’t even complete my sentence.

  How could I be that stupid?

  “Oh, my dear girl, we’re all foolish when it comes to love…right, Madame Ambrosine?”

  Madame Ambrosine had an all-knowing look on her face and nodded as she replied, “Yes, Lucida, I remember the time when you—”

  Mother hushed her before she could finish. “I don’t think we need to hear any stories of my foolishness right now.” She put her arm around me. “Alixia, I just know when the time is right, you will meet that person you will share your heart and soul with. Until then, don’t be
so distrustful. Love will find you. I know that to be a fact.” She gave me a gentle shove. “Now get up and go enjoy your party.”

  “All right, I’m going.”

  I hurried away to find my friends, but I was still thinking of Marcus. I barely noticed Mother calling after me. “Alixia!”

  I put my hand up. “It’s okay, I can handle it.” She probably just wanted to give me more advice, which wouldn’t make me feel better anyway.

  The girls were dancing. I waved at Claire as she edged her way over to where I was standing. We hugged.

  “Happy birthday, Alixia, you look beautiful.”

  “Thank you, so do you.”

  “Thanks! Come on, let’s get some punch.”

  We crossed the room and, as luck would have it, Marcus was at the punchbowl serving up a glass to Sarah. I took in a deep breath and let it out, knowing I couldn’t avoid them all evening.

  “Hi, you two. Are you enjoying yourselves?”

  Marcus smiled and said,

  “Yes, it’s great.” Sarah added, “The band is really cool. Thanks for inviting us.”

  Actually, I thought somewhat enviously, I didn’t invite you.

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourselves.” I said, mustering my most sincere voice. Claire handed me a glass of punch and I turned toward the dance floor, wondering if I would be out there tonight.

  Marcus touched my shoulder, “Would you like to dance?”

  That wanting him feeling shot through my body again, making me forget everything I said or thought before. I said, “Sure I…uh…”

  Before I could finish, Robert had my arm and was dragging me onto the dance floor.

  “C’mon, birthday girl, let’s dance!” I looked back at Marcus apologetically. He lifted his glass, smiled at me, and turned his attention back to Sarah.

  Robert took me in his arms with a firm hold, smiling like he had won the prize. He was a nice looking young man with brown hair, blue eyes and a sincere smile. As we danced though, I could think only of how I wished it was Marcus’ arms around me tonight. Robert did actually have me smiling by the end of the dance. He told me that all the guys were jealous of him since I was the most beautiful girl in the room. I laughed at him and teasingly and said,